User blog:Friezafollwer/A Opinion

This is a rough draft for a story that i am writing. Could someone please read this and tell me some feedback? Thank you for your help. This is the story:

Children of Destiny

Prologue

What happened to the world? There used to be children playing in yards and swimming in the pools in the summer time. Trees used to sway in the breeze and lose the leaves that covered their branches in the winter time. The sky used to be blue with hope of a new day and new love. Now the children no longer play in the yard, the trees will never let their leaves fall and the sky is dark with hopelessness and pain. If you are reading this, then it means that I have failed to save everyone.

He has taken the world for himself and now all hope is lost. My story is not a happy one but it needs to be told none the less. This story will open your eyes to the truth of the universe but you must be careful. By finding this book you have already become a target for the darkness that now rules the world and he will stop at nothing to destroy this book and the one who holds its secrets…you. The more you know the harder he will try to kill you so you must keep your guard up at all times. The mysteries of the universe will unfold before your eyes as you turn each page of this story. This book will tell you what happened to make this evil world and the only way to change it back to the way it once was. If you choose to continue reading you will now hold the secrets that I have held close to my heart. I will give you until the count of 5 to make your choice. 5…4…3…2…1…0. Now to begin but where to start? I guess I will start at the beginning. The year was 2005 and I just had my first encounter with the truth.